Something wrong with me these days...

            i am alway being catching by hands..millions of hands...since i was very little a child..

            i have had nightmares like that for thousands of times...

            it may be why i always feel there is no sense of safety..

            i just feel someone is following me all the time..catch me..then...

           

            i have been feeling upset these days..

            So much pressure on me...

            Maybe everyone thinks that the students who will take the college entrance exams always get the most stress..

            only ones who are in my position can feel what i am feeling...

            Mum and Dad have been expecting me being the best since i was born...

            i try to be best but i cannot always be the best...

            And now, i just want myself to be the best, but it is so hard...

 

           Today, i was asked to be away from school...

           Away from my class, my friends, everyone i treat by heart..

           My only joy these days is just sitting in my classroom, meeting with all my friends, and seeing the guys who i want to see in school...

           Staying at home, is staying away from all my friends,all my joy..

           and what's the most important is that it doesn't lead to any improvement!!!

           Class teacher considered me as someone who disturbed their study...

           just because there are two boys playing basketball late for class...

           Is it my fault?

           How can that be my fault??!!

           

           Since i know that teacher may think i will disturb others, i try my best to work hard in school!

           I even ask my classmates to study harder when they just want to play all day long!!

           I encourage them to be harder when they did not do a good job!!

           I try to let them know that going abroad is not as easy as they think...

           I tried!!!!!!

           I tried so much!!!!

           i am still fired....

         

          And just now, they were talking to play sth. like cs on the internet!!!

          what the hell happen to me!!!!

          If they just be willing to study hard! i can do this for them!!

          But!!! They just still !!!!!!!!!

          And!! I have to lost all my happiness for nothing!!!!!

          i cannot meet the one i want to meet....

          i cannot find someone to talk with....

          i cannot run on the playground with others...

          i am quit of the group..the class...the school...the thing i may not have any longer....

 

          ps: i can absolutely understand our class teacher..

               but i still cannot control my sadness...

               i am so sad...so so sad.....

  

          i always want to fight together with my friends...

          i always want to stay together with my frends...

          for i always lack a sense of safty...

          will my friends remember me after they winning their life together?

          will my friends remember me after i being far away from them?

          will i have friends any longer....?

 

          Toefl is just approaching...

          ok, let me focus on this and try to get a good mark on this.

          i should always be the best of myself!

          i believe that i am always the best one!

          i can make it!!!

          As well as you can!!

          Come on!! let's get over it together!!

 

 

           

           

           

          

           Still hope you can read them at the main page:小秋的天空..

           New song and pictures are waiting for you..

          

           翻看了下很久以前的日记..

           记载着美好生活的本子...

           那个时候，憧憬着4个人的美好生活..

           满心期待会有南瓜奶奶把它变成现实..

           真的以为那个梦会成真..

 

           现在知道梦总会醒来..

           但是还是会继续作梦....

           做梦的时候嘴角上扬..

           醒来后，遗憾，回忆，微笑...

 

           还是觉得很甜..

           虽然路过了..

           

           不知道前面还有多少个小岛..

           我的小船在湛蓝的大海上漂荡..

           旷阔的天空，可爱的云朵陪伴我..

           漂阿漂阿漂....

           

           Just one more thing before i go to bed..

           And everything i have to say is said..

           There's something special i want to do..

           Here's a kiss..

          

           Just for you...  

 

 

             。。。。。。。。。

 

 

 

    

 

               和最好的朋友们一起吃了块蛋糕算是走进了18岁的大门..

               18岁，是什么呢？

               就是犯了法要被抓进监狱关起来了..所以，我不能犯法..

               就是惹怒了爸爸妈妈就没有零花钱了..所以，我要孝顺他们..

               就是要从浅水区走向深水区..所以,我要更努力的学习..

               就是摔倒了不再有叔叔阿姨扶..所以，我要勇敢坚强..

               就是......

 

               和朋友们一起走过，多么的幸福..

               总是想要奔奔跑跑的，以后不再是小女孩了..

               总是幻想要快快长大，现在觉得时间怎么过得那么快..

               小时候还总是拉着爸爸妈妈的大手，让他们带着我滑行..

               以后要用我的手带着爸爸妈妈向前走了..

              

               还是要感谢所有的朋友们，

               遇到你们真得很幸运，

               想象着再次和你们无忧无虑的打闹玩耍..

               想象着我们头靠头躺在草地上..

               看着蓝蓝的天空..

               做着我们的梦..

 

   

                       

           

 

 

           This song (Valder Fields)is a present for myself..I like it so much..